Lunar Phases
by Audric
Summary: A dark, predominantly Cissatrix (Bellatrix X Narcissa) fic. With minorNarcissa X Lucius and Bellatrix X Rodolphus. M FOR A REASON (see inside) "The Black house has always been just that. Black. The darkest of families. Tainted by purity. A hereditary disease. Passed down through generations. Absorbed in their blood." (Also, I suck at summaries? Told from Bellatrix's POV)
1. The before

********Dark Themes. Incest, mentions of self harm, non-consensual-ish situations and underage people having sexual relationships . Viewer Discretion Advised. (I don't own any characters. Or anything related to Harry Potter. Thats all JK.) TRIGGER WARNING.********

**(Bellatrix is a bit (or a lot?) OOC...its just the way it happened. )**

**Also, reviews keep me motivated. ^_^**

Its midnight. Or close to.

The moon illuminates the infinite darkness that is night.

_"Bella." _

She says my name when she sleeps. Her voice, always strained. Is it pain or pleasure?

_"Bella."_

Maybe both.

In the Black House there was often no difference between the two. Or maybe the two just coexisted. Pain and pleasure. Light and dark. She and I. Two out of the three infamous Black sisters.

Only, not for long. Rodolphus has asked for my hand. He disgusts me, but I must carry on the charade. The illusion of perfection, or purity, or whatever it is that's supposed to matter but really doesn't. She is the one thing I love. The only thing in this world that can smother this fire that was ignited in me the day I was born. The day I became _Black. _

_"Bella."_

She and I cannot coexist forever.

I'm becoming a Lestrange soon. A_ Lestrange. _It makes me sick. But it's better than being a Malfoy. A bunch of bleeding cowards, the whole lot of them. And Narcissa has chosen to be one. She and him will move into Malfoy Manor, and make lovely little dewy-eyed brats. The thought of it makes me sick. Although he's probably already been inside her. She is just like her older sisters; insatiable. We took the meaning out of sex a long time ago. We stripped it bare, left nothing but the action. The physical never met the mental or emotional. Sex and love do not exist on the same planes.

The love I have for her is negated only by the hate I feel for myself every time I wrap her hair around my hand and pull her into my darkness. She is my moon. And my stars, but she's burning out. She's becoming more Black than I would've ever thought possible. The fragile blonde-haired girl, with no opinion is merely a memory now. She is now a woman of 19 years, outspoken, with the body of a damned harlotas mother would say. Even as she gets closer to Malfoy. The Black is catching; contagious. And she's infected. We both are.

...

Andromeda is pregnant with a Mudblood's child. The abomination inside of her won't be _Black. _It is a burden that only the purest endure. Or at least the seemingly pure...

No one knows she's pregnant but Narcissa and I. Narcissa feigned indifference. While I sincerely told her to get rid of it. But she made her choice. She's running away with the Mudblood soon...planning to elope, and raise the little freak. I envy her, really. She's braver than Narcissa, and saner than I. We are both weak in our own respects, slaves to our upbringing. But not Andromeda. We were all raised the same way. In the same detached, apathetic home. There is no feeling. Except for what we feel about ourselves and for each other. The Black sisters. Synonymous with self loathing, furious lust, and the sickest type of love. A love we so willingly give, but hesitate to receive. Andromeda is leaving. And I do not hate her for the bastard child she carries, or the disgrace to wizarding kind that has fathered the thing. I hate her because she isn't really _Black. _She is only Black in name, and even then not for much longer. She was raised in the same conditions as we were but Andromeda is immune. She will never be Black. Because she never was Black.

_"Bella." _

Narcissa always falls asleep after we fuck. Like a man, really. The way we fight for dominance exhausts her. Plus, I didn't let her win tonight. There was no real fight in her anyway. Eventually she just lied back, and let me devour her. She was much better at losing control than Andromeda. Andromeda tried to fight it at first, before she gave into the want that later became a need. And even after. When she'd come to my room willingly in the dead of the night, well after Narcissa had fallen asleep against my headboard, she was aggressive. Fighting me into submission all while making sure not to wake the youngest Black. She was skilled too. Narcissa took some teaching but Andromeda knew how to read my body and respond appropriately.

She was always a better fuck than Cissy. But Cissy is my everything. And she's Andromeda's too. All Narcissa has to do is tell her to stay and she will. But Cissy won't do that. Because Andromeda doesn't belong here, and we all know it. Cissy isn't as indifferent as she seems. She cares about Andromeda, but that's how we were raised. In unfeeling. Not as much _Black _as it was gray. Any display of affection will keep her here, half-blood disgrace and all. But she won't give her a reason to stay. We won't really be here for long either way. I'll become a Lestrange, and Cissy, a Malfoy. Different shades, that when put together still become Black.

_"Bella."_

I look at her resting form, she's beginning to bruise around the collar and along her jaw line. I mustn't be so rough, she's so pale.

_"Bella, are you just going to stare at me?"_

My moon, my light.

_"Go back to sleep Cissy, you need your rest." _

She's smiling up at me. Profoundly beautiful...almost pristine.

Almost.

_"Lay with me, I'm cold." _

No she's not, but I lay there anyway. She rests her head on my chest and I ration my breath so that I am only inhaling and exhaling just barely, and she, my flame, dances in the wind that is me.

_"Bella."_

_"Goodnight, Cissy."_


	2. Burning out

********Dark Themes. Incest, mentions of self harm, non-consensual-ish situations and underage people having sexual relationships . Viewer Discretion Advised. (I don't own any characters. Or anything related to Harry Potter. Thats all JK.) TRIGGER WARNING.********

**(Bellatrix is a bit (or a lot?) OOC...its just the way it happened. )**

**Also, reviews keep me motivated. ^_^**

It has been over a year since that night, and about the same since we've seen our sister. Or, the blood traitor, as she's often referred to now. Narcissa and I have married our respective suitors and our parents have since died. My father first and then my mother. Natural causes. Some less familiar individuals have said that she died of a broken heart. But those close enough know the truth. Love was never a part of their union. No, status and purity above all else. She was to birth a son, a male heir to carry on the name of Black. She never fulfilled her duty, and was therefore useless. But the name of Black couldn't be sullied, so they remained together until their dying days with nothing except three unwanted and thus unloved daughters to show for it.

No, our mother did not die of a broken heart, but rather a wasted life plagued with regret. She was not born Black, but rather one of its many shades. Our mother chose the _Black_ but became slave to it. And at the end of it all, she died at the hands of her master. Love had nothing to do with it.

Narcissa and I are spending some time here at our parents estate. Cissy told Lucius that she needed time to grieve on the night of our mother's funeral. He nodded, thinking he understood. But he doesn't, the idiot. One grieves after a loss. We did not lose our mother because she was never here. She was never our mother. She was the lady who bore us to try appease a man whom she did not love. She was also the lady who could not stand the sight of that said man, and every time they lied together, it made her skin crawl. She was the lady who at least once a week made her way to my room to rid herself of the disgust she felt. She left traces of it all over my skin. Invisible bruises.

She was the woman who taught Narcissa, Andromeda and I this lust that travels between us in an indefinite cycle. We did not lose our mother because she will forever live on as a plague that we will be riddled with for possibly the rest our lives.

_"Feels weird, doesn't it?" _Cissy asks in between drags of her cigarette_._

_"No, sort of seems right. The deaths and all. Seems like something that would occur in this house." _I respond absent mindedly. I don't like that she's smoking, amongst other things, its distracting.

_"That's an odd thing to say." _Odd? Probably. But truthful.

_"Put out the cigarette." _I say it soft, but firm. I suddenly cannot stand the smell of it.

_"Make me, yeah?" _She is kidding, but possibly I really am going mad because in an instant I am in front of her. Close. Closer than we have been in over a year.

She lowers the cigarette, but does not put it out. She is quiet. Her breathing makes a soft, barely noticeable, yet wheezy sound. It's from the smoking I'm sure._ "Put it out." _

She rolls her eyes._ "Fine." _She takes the cigarette and presses it against her left wrist._ "It's out." _

Pain. She always had a preference for it. Through the years I watched as her sides, hips and thighs became littered with scars. She promised me she'd stop, but promises were just one of the many things that meant nothing to us. Just words. Never actions.

So I am not surprised, but rendered silent nonetheless. And for the first time since the days before our joint wedding, my lips are on hers. Hard. My arms are tugging at her clothes._ "Diffindo."_ I whisper, waving my wand around us. And here we are, naked. I place my wand on the coffee table to the right of us and run my fingers along her scars, lightly. Just grazing the skin. She shivers under my touch.

_"Bella."_

And I am on her. She stumbles onto the chaise loungue. My burgundy lipstick leaves evidence of longing on her ever-pale skin. I look up at her. I see protest in her eyes. We are both married women. We are sisters. Our mother has just died. I hesitate for a split second and then, as if to make up for time wasted, I hungrily nip at her neck. Harder, and harder. I taste blood. My hand cups her breasts and my thumbs circle over her nipples. They harden under my touch.

_"Mmm, we shouldn't Bella...Lu-Lucius." _Lucius? His name comes out of her mouth in a whisper. Barely verbalized. He just barely exists to her, but even still, I will make her forget him. Even if only temporarily.

_"Lucius who?" _I ask softly, as I trail my index finger down her front, stopping only when I reach just below her navel. She does not answer me but bites her lip. Struggling with right and wrong. She is better than I, but more importantly better than Malfoy. I rub my fingers over her most sensitive area. She closes her eyes. And her hips arch up. A welcome response.

_"Has he even given you a proper fuck, Cissy? Have you ever said his name during?" _Rhetorical question. I know the answer.

_"Bella..." _It is half plea, half moan. I am teasing. Almost as punishment. For smoking, and saying his name, and not coming to visit.

Punishment for not being my Cissy and mine alone.

Two fingers thrust into her. Forcefully, and if it is any indication, her body certainly wants this. Even if her mind is unsure.

I lower myself, and give no warning as I allow my tongue to enter her. She makes a small gasping sound and as I continue my task I feel her knees shake as she locks her legs around my back.

I run my hand back up to her erect nipple and pinch it as hard as I can. Twisting it as I feel her body convulse and I taste her orgasm.

_"Bella!"_ She moans my name as she has always done, loud and throaty.

I make my way back up her body so that our breasts are touching and we are eye to eye. I grasp her neck in my hand and apply slight pressure as I kiss her, releasing what's left of my emotion.

_"I don't ever want to see you smoking again."_ She nods as I release her, taking deep breaths.

For a second she is my Cissy again. My moon, surrounded by the Black that will eventually consume us both.

I roll to the side of her and place my arms around her shoulders. She raises her wand and in a swift movement we are beneath covers. Her eyelids are heavy. She hasn't changed at all. And as she nods off into my arms the realization hits me that neither have I.


	3. Rodolphus, dear

********Dark Themes. Incest, mentions of self harm, non-consensual-ish situations and underage people having sexual relationships . Viewer Discretion Advised. (I don't own any characters. Or anything related to Harry Potter. Thats all JK.) TRIGGER WARNING.********

**(Bellatrix is a bit (or a lot?) OOC...its just the way it happened. )**

**Also, reviews keep me motivated. ^_^**

It is morning and she lies in my arms. Her mouth, slightly ajar. She emits soft snores as I twirl a bit of her hair around my finger. In my arms is where she belongs, honestly. Every time I imagine her waking up next to Lucius I am nearly ill. I imagine him having his way with her...

But worse yet, I imagine her enjoying it.

Sexuality is confusing, and the more I try to sort it out, the more muddled it gets. I never had too much of a preference though. Besides Cissy. If she wasn't an option then it was whatever pure blood who had a pulse. Male, female, didn't matter. But Cissy, my moon, shines brighter than the rest. Everyone else pales in comparison. Rodolphus might even be tolerable if there was no Cissy to compare him to. But she is my addiction.

On the evening of our wedding Rodolphus had asked to consummate our marriage, and I refused. He accused me of fancying Narcissa. Said he thought it was just because we weren't married that I wouldn't lie with him, but he said he noticed he way I looked at her. He said he couldn't place the look in my eyes as I glanced past him at our wedding. He said he should've known that i was looking at Narcissa. Undressing her with my eyes. He said he could almost feel the way I lusted after her.

All at once anger infiltrated all of my senses and before another word could leave his foul-smelling mouth my wand was out and he had dropped his in the process of disarming me.

_"I'll kill you, Rodolphus. Right here, and think nothing of it. You should bloody thank me, you know. What could I possibly have gained from marrying you? My parents house alone is worth more gold than all your assets put together, better yet, I have more gold in my name alone than you or anyone in your family has ever accumulated. You're fat, balding, and to be quite frank with you, there's nothing that disgusts me more than your aging body."_

My wand stayed pointed at his head. He stared at me. Trying to figure out what parts of my statement were true.

They all were.

He opened his mouth to speak, but a thrust of my wand knocked him off his feet. I advanced towards him, picking up his wand in the process.

In a flash I was up against him, his breath ragged, our faces nearly touching.

_"We won't be consummating anything. However, we can and will fuck, but only when I please. And you will only touch me when and where I say, is that understood?" _He stared at me, with that stupid perplexed expression he wears.

I shifted my hips forward so that I was sitting on his lap, facing him. I felt him harden under me. _"Patience, Rudolphus, I asked you a question." _I remember smiling as I jabbed my wand into his neck.

_"Ye-yes, Bellatrix." _

_"Good." _

I begin to undo his trousers. Hovering my hand just over his member I glanced up at him.

_"And Rodolphus dear?"_

His flushed face looked at me with both perplexity and eagerness.

I grabbed his exposed anatomy as hard as I could. My smile widening as he let out a frightened squeak.

_"I don't ever want to hear Narcissa's name come out of your mouth again, because I promise I won't be nearly as pleasant."_

He nodded vigorously as I released him.

_"Great, now you can watch me as I get myself off. You're free to do as you like during, but for gods sake Rodolphus, don't make a bloody sound."_


	4. The first night I saw the moon

********Dark Themes. Incest, mentions of self harm, non-consensual-ish situations and underage people having sexual relationships . Viewer Discretion Advised. (I don't own any characters. Or anything related to Harry Potter. Thats all JK.) TRIGGER WARNING.********

**(Bellatrix is a bit (or a lot?) OOC...its just the way it happened. )**

**Also, reviews keep me motivated. ^_^**

Narcissa has gone back to Malfoy manor. I think she genuinely wants to be him.

_"We cannot coexist forever."_

My thoughts race. And scream her name.

_"Narcissa."_

I want to apparate to her door. Pull her hair. Kiss her. I want to claim every inch of her body as my own. I want to feel her under me. I want her to say my name.

But he's probably there.

Lucius.

He is her happy ever after.

But she is all I think about. In the shower I imagine her hands on me. I imagine them making their way in between my legs. Pulling them apart. I imagine her tasting me.

And in the minutes it takes me to climax, the fantasies are over.

She and I are over.

And the hollowness of my childhood home all but breaks me yet again.

She writes sometimes. Her last owl said she and Lucius were discussing baby names, and she hopes to get pregnant soon. If it's a boy they'll name him Draco. And if it's a girl they'll name her Bella. I'll be the child's namesake.

Only...I don't want to be. Because I know that once that child is born, I will have finally lost my Cissy. Our time together will be nothing more than memories locked away in the same box that our parents are.

In the part best forgotten.

Our childhood traumas are what held us together. What I did to Cissy as a child, I learned from my mother. The way I touched her. The way I felt...all learned behavior. Learned urges and emotions.

I remember how it all began.

My mother hadn't come to my room in weeks.

I walked in to Narcissa's room to ask her if she wanted to head down to the lake with me. She yelped as I opened the door.

_"Bloody fucking hell Bellatrix! Don't you ever bloody knock?"_

I looked her way, both bemused and amused at the same time. I walked towards where she lied on her bed. Her pale skin was flushed, and glistened with a layer of sweat.

_"For fucks sake Cissy. Were you touching yourself?" _I was shocked.

And she was very obviously embarrassed.

_"Oh go to hell. I was only seeing what the fuss was about."_

I felt myself getting aroused as I sat down next to where she lied. _"Did you orgasm yet?"_

I'll never forget her perplexed expression. She was so innocent back then. _"For Merlin's sake, Cissy. You don't even know why you were doing it then?"_

She shook her head. And I moved closer. I pulled the cover off of her. And for the first time since she was a toddler, I saw her fully naked. Her breasts were larger than mine were at her age. She was much more developed than even Andromeda, who is two years her senior.

_"Let me show you then."_

I circled my finger over her nipple, and trailed it to the valley in between her breasts, resting it there briefly. Feeling her heart beat.

My finger made its way down her torso. I literally ached to be touch, but I was more interested in doing the touching. Seeing the way her body responded. My mother never let me touch her. In the beginning she had even bound my hands. But Narcissa was uncharted territory.

I decided the rules.

_"Bella, it-it's okay. I don't really want to do it." _She was always a dreadful liar.

I rubbed her. She bit her lip. I smirked.

_"You don't like how it feels?"_

_"N-no, it's not that. I-oh gods." _Her porcelain skin was crimson. Her breathing, ragged. _"I don't know what's going on. I feel weird." _She breathed.

_"Just go with the feeling, okay?" _She nodded. Her trust was unconditional.

I applied more pressure and quickened my pace. Her body responded naturally, and moved according to my fingers. She let out half suppressed moans, and short rapid breaths.

_"Bella...I think...mmm, fuck!" _She jerked up as I catapulted her into her first orgasm. Wrapping her arms around me as she slumped forward.

_"Next time you want to 'see what the fuss is about' let me know, yeah? I'll help you out."_

She nodded, still catching her breath.

Andromeda later admitted to hearing the whole thing through the door. That was her first time getting off too, and later that night well after our mother passed out from a combination of firewhiskey and our fathers abuse, she went to Cissy's room too. That was the first night Narcissa really shone. She was the one moonbeam, the only bit of light to make it through the _Black_.

...

But here it is. Years later. Narcissa is no longer innocent. Andromeda is no longer a part of my life and I've never felt so smothered by this emptiness.

_"Incendio." _A small flame produces from the tip of my wand. The memories I've recounted hurt more than any physical pain ever could. I press my wand to wrist and hold my breath as I watch my skin burn.

Pain.

We were born into it. We live it.

Narcissa may be happy now, but pain is our fate.

Our destiny.

She will die hurting.

...

Just like me.


End file.
